So many times the first thing a wounded person does is pull back. They pull back not only from the one who hurt them but they start putting up defenses and pull back from others around them. They hang on to the hurts from yesterday and each hurt they hold becomes a layer that separates them from the rest of their relationships. Eventually even their relationship with God.
Held hurts act like bricks that “fortify” or “protect” us against another attack.
Or so we think.
In reality those bricks of hurt do in fact build a wall, but it’s a wall that cuts us off from our life source. It cuts us off from receiving and giving love.
Humans are wired for love. It’s in our make-up, and the very blueprint of our souls are designed to function on love. When we wall ourselves off from others and the life source that relationships and love brings, we start slowing dying behind the very wall we created for protection.
A few years ago, the Lord started talking to me about my “wall.” He didn’t speak in an audible voice but spoke in what I call heart-thoughts. Little promptings in my heart that helped me see I was dying behind a wall of my own building. I had been badly damaged through relationships that should have protected me instead of hurt me and from people who’s never-ending-thirst for power and control had left me mentally broken, abused, and feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I was like a wounded animal who had crawled into a cave to either heal or die…I still wasn’t sure which would happen.
Brick-by-brick the Lord started having me take down my wall. He started bringing healing in areas I had kept covered, much like a child who holds on to a scraped knee and won’t let a parent see it because it hurts too much. I started letting Him see and started letting Him heal.
It wasn’t an overnight process. Nothing thorough ever is, but it was a necessary process for what was to come. God spent two-full years pulling stuff out before He started talking to me about what He had put in. Things and Giftings He had put in me before I was born. Plans and Callings that would never get to come out if buried under hurt.
The reason they would never surface before, is because they work by Love. By being filled and secure in His love. By knowing no matter how big of a leap something required, His love would hold me. By not being afraid to share Love with others because I know I’m connected to a limitless supply of Love.
Today, I want to encourage you to trust His Love. Let Him remove your wall brick-by-brick. Let Him take out so He can show you what He has already put in. Don’t rush the process, trust the Love. You are safe where He leads you.
Being His. Being Free,
In honor of Giving Tuesday, I wanted to share the above journey with you and tell you the background on one of the things the Lord unearthed in me after that two year process. In 2013 He placed inside my heart an idea for an organization called Clothe Our Kids. COK is a non-profit organization whose mission is to provide clothes for children in need by working through school counselors and children’s services case workers.
What started in my garage 5 years ago has now grown to organization with 6 affiliate locations having clothed a combined total of 4,000+ kids to date.
If you’re looking for a place to give this Giving Tuesday, consider checking out www.clotheourkids.com ❤️